The Trouble with Bonding

Kintsugi

Image source: Google

The Trouble with Bonding

My fractures run deep

with jagged curves back in time

misaligned by variances between

what was and what should’ve been.

 

I pretended

to be whole

again and again,

blending my façade

with her charade,

becoming a beautiful lie

that died

the moment we tried

rocky weather together

whenever and wherever

our rhyme got sloppy and

disjointed.

 

We pointed out each other’s flaws

and clawed ourselves apart. My heart

mistook love for a pleasure found

oozing pillow-talk

into the next girl’s

midnight bedsheets;

repeatedly pressed this error

into her replacement’s bed too,

but she fled my good intentions

just as I was finding leverage

to press solid meaning into her…

into her…

 

Are these mildly lewd sex metaphors

doing anything for you? Because

I could probably say plainly that

 

I had mostly good sex

with mostly good women

for mostly bad reasons

 

not for love, pleasure,

not even for affection

mostly, a self-deception

 

as I mostly engaged in the self-delusion

that I loved them

or that I loved myself, when

 

I was clearly too broken to do either,

 

but I suppose it’s better that I couch it

in some wrecked flower and

tangled bedsheet nonsense.

 

I’m wrecking the rhythm of this poem.

I apologize. Now, where was I?

 

Into her wake,

serene surface broken

by her rippling,

departing waves

I wandered,

my fractures,

deep with jagged

curves back in time

misaligned

by variances between

what was her own brokenness and

what should’ve been

her pristine perfection that

should’ve saved us both

but didn’t.

 

Looking back, I know now that her imperfections

were perfectly wondrous and uniquely lovely.

But it took another woman with her own unique

deep, jagged, fractures curving into my own

that helped me appreciate my own failings

from wondrous newly tacked angles.

 

This poem is uneven

and not as pretty

as I had hoped it would be.

 

But it is pure gold

where it needs to be.

***

Written for Poets United Midweek Motif ~ Kintsugi: Art of Mending, Posted by Sumana Roy.

Warming the Kiln

jonathan-chen-199962

Image source: Unsplash.com

Warming the Kiln

alchemy

elements of strife

calm to see

commonly

coalescing in proto-life

nexus calls to me

 

majesty

warming up the kiln

warning me

patiently

of fires burning within

scorching all i see

 

drowning me

in fires of righteous

grounding me

profoundly

bring clairvoyance to sightless

as we crowd to see

 

pulsing plea

compressing plasma

fusing free

flame of sea

igniting molten magma

the blacksmith emcee

** *

(Warning: Video contains strong NSFW language.)

 

Written in anticipation of one of my favorite hip-hop artist’s pending new album, rumored to drop on April 7th. Kendrick Lamar currently holds the title as the greatest rapper living, and he recently released a single that hints at what’s to come very soon. You might say that I’m a bit excited for it.

 

 

Hazy Sanctuary

tumblr_olrcnyGqBr1szm930o1_1280

Image source: Colour My World

Hazy Sanctuary

Sheltered within the embrace of gentle mist,

climbing the thickest, soft mossy bough,

thinning amongst higher branches,

lost among fractured paisley pink blossoms,

I am born, a balmy parting from swollen bud,

among a cosmos of bursting buds.

 

I am born a specter, breathing ethereal dew,

fated to travel the world

perpetually displaced from it,

questing for my place in the cosmos,

infinitesimal in my insignificance, yet unique

in beauty as the double-helixed molecular barcode.

 

I am born, sheltered within nursery of thought

on reprieve from long winters of barren greys

where the mist bubbles, yielding space to sprinkle

light touches of pastel ideas that dare to open,

revealing flowering layers of imagination

efflorescence in portrait form.

 

I am born in whispers, neck craning to reach

higher in muted sky, patiently smiling

through the blended fragrance of renewal,

with birdsongs reminding me that it is OK

to raise my head and breathe.